"I stand up. I'm shaking nervous. Suddenly self conscious. Then I stand up straight and take off my shirt. I was 28. I was on the university baseball team. I had a v taper in the day goddammit. I took it off and I think the were shocked. I always wore sweatshirts. I was fat at the Christmas Party. But I quit sugar and drinking and hit the weights. Long story. Point is, I was okay to be doing this at the time.The room is silent. FFF, who's toes I'm now DESPERATE to suck, proposes a contest to. What about tonight? She had taken a huge risk, baring her heart as she had, and she had suffered for it. She was suffering right now, ten floors above where he now sat. She had reopened a wound in herself that had barely started to heal, and she had done so because she felt it was what she had to do. Whether what she was asking for was a good thing or not was a matter that could be debated endlessly, but all that mattered right then was that she believed it was important enough to stake her. As I stood there, I was saddened at the thought of all the years that we'd wasted. And then I determined that whether or not Linda and I ever "got together", that night we were going to get together if at all possible. "Do you mind if I come on inside, Linda, and we can see if there's any possibility we can recapture what I so foolishly let escape me those years back?" I don't know, Tom, do you think it's possible for us to ever enjoy again what we might have shared when we were in high school. His faced movedforward and I sensed he was about to kiss me. My involuntary action wasto move back. His right hand came up again and was held out flat near myface, ready to slap me again. I forced myself to stay still.He enclosed me in his arms again and this time his lips came down onmine. It was the strangest feeling, I could feel the slight rasp ofafternoon shadow on his face, smell the faint scent of his aftershaveand the press of his thick lips against mine. He pushed his tongue intomy.
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